Bush's Brain

As seen on the Internet(s)...
Lucidity. See, I have this theory that one of the neocons was infected with some sort of sentient parasite (much like in the ST:NG episode "Conspiracy" or the sand thingies in "Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan"). The rest got "recruited" along the way.
Symptoms include: doublespeak (Rice), newspeak (Rove), out-and-out lies (Cheney) and devote loyalty even in the light of open backstabbing (Powell, McCain).
So why Iraq? Um... there's... a spaceship... at the bottom of one of the oil reserves between the Tigres and Euphrates and they need to go drill for it. (There, threw in a bit for X-filers).

Too out there?
Fine. Then they're just greedy, evil bastards. Happy now?